Doc Searls Weblog

Every so often a product shows up that is so bad somebody needs to sound a warning.

So I’m sounding one for the Ion Retro Glow. For the last month or so, it’s been on display and selling at the Sams Club here in Bloomington, Indiana. That’s where I shot the photo above.

At first I thought it was just an interesting goof: an old-fashioned boom box with Bluetooth and a rechargeable battery. But then I remembered that I have about a hundred cassette tapes I want to go through, and no way to play them. I also thought the thing wouldn’t be a bad Bluetooth speaker system for my phone. The sound, while not great, wasn’t bad when I pressed the buttons on the display. I also still listen to some radio, so I thought that might be a nice bonus, if the radio was at least okay. And the price was right: $69.

So I bought one.

OMG. Quelle merde.

First, all the buttons and knobs are crap plastic, and the Stop/Eject button wouldn’t open the cassette door, making that function useless. Right there I needed to take it back. But to exchange it?

Not after checking out the radio.

The dial knob was so stiff I thought something was surely wrong with it. And there was. The dial pointer leaned one way or the other as one tuned up and down. And the radio was so bad on both bands that it would be a total turn-off to anyone wanting to give radio a try for the first time. (And there are now large demographics in that category.) Noise rejection on AM was completely absent, and the radio only got one station. There wasn’t even a tiny hint that there might be other signals out there. (And there are many here.) On FM, strong local signals splattered all over the dial, and the tuner made strange pulsing sounds as I (with lots of torque) turned the dial pointer slowly (there was no other way) up and down. And the sound kinda sucked too.

The only thing that worked as advertised was the Bluetooth. My phone found the thing instantly.

As for the sound, I’m much better served by the Bluetooth speakers I already have. There are good ones in the same price range.

The glowing rings around the speakers are just eye candy.

I suppose the rechargeable battery is okay. It worked for the few minutes I bothered checking it out.

The lesson: If you want a good boom box, check out your neighborhood or online thrift stores. Here’s Facebook Marketplace for my region here.

I suspect at least one of these is still good.

A final word to Sam’s Club: please stop selling this piece of crap. It makes victims of your customers.