How to Be Old, Lesson 1

A trick for opening a stuck lid.

I’ve been young a long time. My chronometer says 78.4685 years, which is long for a human but short for a rock. I know a lot of rocks. It helps to have perspective.

I still work. A lot. I’ve outgrown getting paid, though my work is still valuable. (Or so I believe.)

But it’s hard to open jars now. Also to climb trees, but that’s an expired skill. Opening jars is not.

Oddly for an ordinary dude, I took pride for most of my life in my skill at opening jars. All one needs, I taught myself, is enough grip in each hand to lock onto the jar and lid, then using one’s fixed wrists and forearms like long-handled wrenches. Does the job.

I once mistook the old-fashioned crown cap of a beer bottle for a more modern twist-off one, and got the cap to turn in circles while perforating the web of my hand next to my thumb. Now, even for twist-off caps, I need a channel-lock pliers (recommended). My hands won’t do it.

So here’s how I loosen the metal lid of pasta sauce jar, especially when the running-hot-water-over-the-lid method fails:

  1. Put a small metal pan on low heat.
  2. Wait until the surface gets to about 130°, then turn it to simmer, or the lowest possible value, so it holds that temperature. To check, use an infrared thermometer laser gun-like gizmo. They’re cheap online: less than $20, tariffs withstanding.
  3. Stand the jar, lid down, on the pan, while watching the temperature adjacent to it. Don’t let it get above 150° or so.
  4. Allow enough time for the lid to heat up a bit.
  5. Take it off, and use your thermo gun to make sure it’s cool enough to grab.
  6. Now you can twist off the lid.

Works every time for me, and I am now certifiably weak. (But not too weak to type this.)

You’re welcome.



5 responses to “How to Be Old, Lesson 1”

  1. Mr Searls! This procedure sounds satisfyingly good and scientific, but as you noted, please be careful with your hands, we all need you to continue to be able to type!
    That said, I learned a couple of techniques somewhere that usually work pretty well, so here is my sequence:
    1) try with hands
    2) try gripping with a floppy, grippy silicon material
    3) tap all around the upper outside edge of lid with a knife or similar (not the sharp part, the rounded part), maybe at least 8 spots, and try again step 1 & 2
    These methods usually work for me, don’t require costly tools and are pretty quick (method 3 makes little dents in the lid). I suppose a 4th method would be to call on another household member with stronger hands if available.
    Hope the sauce was tasty!

    1. Sometimes that technique works. It’s certainly safer. Another method is with hot water flowing from the faucet across the floor of a stainless steel kitchen sink. If the flow is shallow enough so only the lid gets heated, and there is a steady flow of full-hot (typically 130°) water, there is a good chance the lid has expanded enough to make opening possible for weak hands after one quickly dries the jar off. I’ve found that the stove method tends to work, however, after the other techniques have failed.

  2. John T Hoagland Avatar
    John T Hoagland

    A year or two ago, added a pair of channel lock pliers to kitchen kit
    Back of most used drawer ;-P

  3. I enjoy using the rounded end of my old church key can and bottle opener for the task. Breaks the seal vertically requiring no wrist torquing at all.

    1. Seriously, that’s probably the best method. There are instruments one can buy as well that do the job. Lots of those at Amazon.

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