Unlike the old days:

That was an ad placed in Byte by my agency, Hodskins Simone & Searls, the year before we moved from Raleigh to Palo Alto. This was in office printing’s first golden age, when you used thundering dot matrix printers like this one to pound print through six-part forms fed by pin drives. Or on plain paper, like this new model from Datasouth, our favorite client ever. Datasouth printers were made in Charlotte by durability fanatics and could not be killed.
But that was then.
Printers do lots more now, and produce much finer print and images—but only during the brief spans when the fucking things actually work.
I am convinced that printers today are designed to commit suicide, but only after consuming toner or ink so ravenously that your $50 laser or your $120 ink jet has digested $5600 worth of consumables before failing right after you buy some more, which (of course!) won’t work with the new replacement models from the same company. Fun!
I bring this up because I have a dead Brother and a dead Epson here, one with new toner and the other with new ink, and I need to go out in the snow and buy a replacement for at least one of them. Let’s hope that one has at least some will to live.* (Alas, hope is the best I can have. I am beyond faith.)
*Proven short life expectancy actually makes the 2-year $4.99 “protection plan” worth the money. Just be sure to affix the paperwork to your fridge with a magnet, because death is near the moment you plug the damn thing in.
Later::: We got a Samsung laser printer and an Epson ink jet printer. Both lasted until after the protection plans ran out.
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